On Sunday mornings Sis and I went to the nine o'clock mass. Nanoo waved goodbye and went back to her coffee, lucky strikes and one of the honeydip donuts that Gramp bought every Sunday.
One particular Sunday we passed Buddy sitting on his porch in his play clothes from yesterday or even the day before. He was tossing rocks from a bucket into his dirt yard. Buddy lived in the project like us, in one of the gray houses with two families connecting them and a shared coal bin.
Throwing rocks with Buddy looked like more fun than going the church. We started a game. Who could throw a rock over the shiny 1949 black Pontiac without hitting it. One of the rocks crashed onto the windshield leaving a pinwheel of cracks. I kind of knew it was mine but stayed quiet. Buddy darted towards his house crying, his face all smudged, his nose running even more. Two of his big brothers stood in the open doorway watching. I began to wish we had gone to church.
The cops came by and dressed in my Sunday clothes I said, "Buddy did it." Sis and I missed church that day, and Nanoo never found out.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Juice Box Heroes
There are so many funny words and phrases and names that catch my attention, so I will write them down here as I see them or else I'll forget them. That's what this space is for, to clean out the junk drawer of the mind.
This morning I'm watching kids shows, because that's pretty much all we ever watch. I could tell you all seven numbered trains on the Island of Sodor--Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, and Toby--but could I tell you much about the stimulus package? The kids show was called Imagination Movers on Disney Channel and it's these four guys who are kind of like the American Wiggles. They play a lot of songs and videos and they just put out an album of kids songs. The album is called...
Juice Box Heroes! A take off on the Foreigner song of many years ago, Juke Box Hero.
I love it.
This morning I'm watching kids shows, because that's pretty much all we ever watch. I could tell you all seven numbered trains on the Island of Sodor--Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, and Toby--but could I tell you much about the stimulus package? The kids show was called Imagination Movers on Disney Channel and it's these four guys who are kind of like the American Wiggles. They play a lot of songs and videos and they just put out an album of kids songs. The album is called...
Juice Box Heroes! A take off on the Foreigner song of many years ago, Juke Box Hero.
I love it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Oscar Observations
I watched some of the Oscars last night, up until right after Heath Ledger was announced as winner of Best Supporting Actor, Male, by one of the SuperFriends. Actually, I liked that whole set of having past winners introduce and announce the nominees and winners. I was stunned at how short Joel Gray was. I kept saying everytime the camera panned back, 'Look how short he is, Look, Look. See, He's short. Look at the guy next to him, he's like half his size. See how short he is?' My better half was like, yeah, so.
These are the things that strike me, what can I say.
I was also struck by Christopher Walken's hair. He looked like Shemp. "The Shemp" (see below) may actually be coming back in style because there was another guy who won for Key Grip or something who had the Shemp look. He was also wearing sneakers.
I was really pulling for the guy with huge teeth to win the Documentary Award. He had bigger teeth than Bababooey. I wanted to see those choppers up close as he made an acceptance speech, but he lost.
I don't understand short films. Why would someone make a short film? The guy who won spent 4 years making a 14 minute film! What?! If you spent that much time on it, I hope to God you won. The other guys who were nominated probably made their's in an afternoon. Can you even make a point in 14 minutes? The Stooges had it right. If you're going to make a 14 minute film, you may as well just wail on each other for 14 minutes. Get your licks in, because there's really no time for anything else. When the Stooges made short films they actually played short films before long films so it made sense. They don't do that anymore. If nothing else, have a separate awards show for short films, don't lump them in with the Oscars, it's too long as it is.
Instead of short films, they should have an award for best first hour of a movie. This year alone, I saw at least three first hours of a movie and never saw the end. I saw the first hour of Wall-E, King Fu Panda, and Leatherheads; and those are the ones that I remember. I'd probably go with Leatherheads -- a solid first hour of entertainment. I was starting to get bored when we had to turn it off to do something with the kids, so I'm sure an hour was about right. The last half hour would have ruined it. We just rented W, I'm looking forward to seeing the first hour of it.
I thought the skit with James Franco and Seth Rogen was funny, especially when they were watching those serious movies and laughing hysterically. Ben Stiller doing Joachim Phoenix on the Letterman show was also good.
I thought Huge Ackman did a good job as host. He was funny and seems like a very happy guy. I liked his line to Meryl Streep, saying she's racked up Huge numbers, like 15 nominations over her career. That leads me to wonder: Are you on steroids?
I hope they bring the SuperFriends thing back next year.
And maybe the Moe haircut will all the rage next year. There is, you know, a Three Stooges movie coming out in 2009. The long rumored Farrelly Brothers updated adaptation of the Stooges is reportedly being made an will be out by the end of the year. I smell Oscar!
These are the things that strike me, what can I say.
I was also struck by Christopher Walken's hair. He looked like Shemp. "The Shemp" (see below) may actually be coming back in style because there was another guy who won for Key Grip or something who had the Shemp look. He was also wearing sneakers.
I was really pulling for the guy with huge teeth to win the Documentary Award. He had bigger teeth than Bababooey. I wanted to see those choppers up close as he made an acceptance speech, but he lost.
I don't understand short films. Why would someone make a short film? The guy who won spent 4 years making a 14 minute film! What?! If you spent that much time on it, I hope to God you won. The other guys who were nominated probably made their's in an afternoon. Can you even make a point in 14 minutes? The Stooges had it right. If you're going to make a 14 minute film, you may as well just wail on each other for 14 minutes. Get your licks in, because there's really no time for anything else. When the Stooges made short films they actually played short films before long films so it made sense. They don't do that anymore. If nothing else, have a separate awards show for short films, don't lump them in with the Oscars, it's too long as it is.
Instead of short films, they should have an award for best first hour of a movie. This year alone, I saw at least three first hours of a movie and never saw the end. I saw the first hour of Wall-E, King Fu Panda, and Leatherheads; and those are the ones that I remember. I'd probably go with Leatherheads -- a solid first hour of entertainment. I was starting to get bored when we had to turn it off to do something with the kids, so I'm sure an hour was about right. The last half hour would have ruined it. We just rented W, I'm looking forward to seeing the first hour of it.
I thought the skit with James Franco and Seth Rogen was funny, especially when they were watching those serious movies and laughing hysterically. Ben Stiller doing Joachim Phoenix on the Letterman show was also good.
I thought Huge Ackman did a good job as host. He was funny and seems like a very happy guy. I liked his line to Meryl Streep, saying she's racked up Huge numbers, like 15 nominations over her career. That leads me to wonder: Are you on steroids?
I hope they bring the SuperFriends thing back next year.
And maybe the Moe haircut will all the rage next year. There is, you know, a Three Stooges movie coming out in 2009. The long rumored Farrelly Brothers updated adaptation of the Stooges is reportedly being made an will be out by the end of the year. I smell Oscar!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Dance Party Friday
This is the greatest newscast ever. Period. If I had local news people like this I'd actually watch the news once in awhile.
If it bleeds it leads, well, in this case, if it raps it leads. Local news is just car accidents and murders, I can't watch it, it's too depressing. Those 10 o'clock shows like CSI are a great lead in to the 11 o'clock news, they get you all primed for real life depressing news as opposed to fiction.
So it's nice to see a change of pace like this, people being real and having fun. Just watch.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/dance-party-friday-rap-dance-party-friday-rap/1579920491
If it bleeds it leads, well, in this case, if it raps it leads. Local news is just car accidents and murders, I can't watch it, it's too depressing. Those 10 o'clock shows like CSI are a great lead in to the 11 o'clock news, they get you all primed for real life depressing news as opposed to fiction.
So it's nice to see a change of pace like this, people being real and having fun. Just watch.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/dance-party-friday-rap-dance-party-friday-rap/1579920491
I Like the Idea of Fishing
I absolutely love the idea of fishing. It's solitary, quiet, you're outside with nature, and you're matching wits with these aquatic animals--fish vs Beast, I mean, man vs beast. It's relaxing yet contemplative -- a thinking man's sport.
It's also the only sport that requires sitting and no movement for long periods of time. I'm surprised the Gods of sports actually voted fishing into the club. Movement should be a minimum requirement for a sport. I also like the idea of kicking back with a cold one and waiting for the fish to bite while the birds chirp, the breeze blows, and the sun shines.
Yes, I love the IDEA of fishing, but the thing is I don't really actually like fishing. Ya follow? Why don't I like fishing? Duh, you're outside, you're alone, it's cold and wet, and you're matching wits with a slimy, beady eyed creature. Oh yeah and it's relaxing and contemplative. But I don't want to relax when I'm playing, if I did, I'd be home watching TV or reading. And I don't want to think when I'm supposed to be recreating. Recreation means fun, thinking is a lot of things, but it's not usually fun. Plus, what is there to think about -- how fast will I lose my lure? How many times will I cast before I give up? It's a fool's game. The fish usually win, so why bother? And I don't actually like the sitting part. Sitting hurts your keyster and its boring. I like to move when I play--give me a turn around jump shot in the driveway or a chip shot with a 9-iron in the backyard any day.
You can see my confusion here. I'm conflicted when it comes to fishing. It's not like golf, which I love the idea of and I love playing. If I could come back as something, it would be as a golf pro. And it's not like skiing, which I hate the idea of and actually hate doing. I hate the idea of skiing because, for starters, it takes place in snow and cold weather. Strike one and strike two. Also, the payoff doesn't match the effort. You make this long slow climb up a mountain with big long things on your feet and clunky boots that don't allow your toes to bend and then, what's the payoff, a quick run down a mountain? Ok, but now you've got to climb up the mountain again in these boots. Sorry, no thanks. Strike 3. Climbing is not my idea of fun in any way shape or form.
What keeps me intrigued by fishing is the mystery of it all. Paraphrasing Forrest Gump, fishing is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get, but just like a box of chocolates, 9 times out of 10 you usually get the crappy ones that you can't stand.
That's the lure of fishing, pardon the pun. You never know what you are going to get. There's this entire world underwater, bigger than the land mass on earth, and it's largely unknown by man. The underwater is a mystery and when you cast that line in, you're thinking, maybe I'll catch a trout, or a bass, or a mackerel, or maybe I'll catch a shark or a giant squid, or a treasure chest, or a pirates skeleton, or a man in cement shoes. You just don't know, so you keep trying. The truth is, if you catch anything, it's a sucker or a sea robin or some dumb ugly fish with spiky fins that you don't want to touch, let alone eat.
I think my whole attitude would change if I started catching fish on a regular basis like those guys on the weekend fishing shows. Like anything, when you're good at something, it's more fun, so I'll keep trying. I really want to like fishing, I just stink at it. That's my whole problem.
I sincerely hope that maybe someday, in my old age, I'll get good at it, because, like that Greek God whose name escapes me who kept pushing that rock up the hill for some reason, I will keep trying, I will keep fishing.
Because I love the idea of fishing.
It's also the only sport that requires sitting and no movement for long periods of time. I'm surprised the Gods of sports actually voted fishing into the club. Movement should be a minimum requirement for a sport. I also like the idea of kicking back with a cold one and waiting for the fish to bite while the birds chirp, the breeze blows, and the sun shines.
Yes, I love the IDEA of fishing, but the thing is I don't really actually like fishing. Ya follow? Why don't I like fishing? Duh, you're outside, you're alone, it's cold and wet, and you're matching wits with a slimy, beady eyed creature. Oh yeah and it's relaxing and contemplative. But I don't want to relax when I'm playing, if I did, I'd be home watching TV or reading. And I don't want to think when I'm supposed to be recreating. Recreation means fun, thinking is a lot of things, but it's not usually fun. Plus, what is there to think about -- how fast will I lose my lure? How many times will I cast before I give up? It's a fool's game. The fish usually win, so why bother? And I don't actually like the sitting part. Sitting hurts your keyster and its boring. I like to move when I play--give me a turn around jump shot in the driveway or a chip shot with a 9-iron in the backyard any day.
You can see my confusion here. I'm conflicted when it comes to fishing. It's not like golf, which I love the idea of and I love playing. If I could come back as something, it would be as a golf pro. And it's not like skiing, which I hate the idea of and actually hate doing. I hate the idea of skiing because, for starters, it takes place in snow and cold weather. Strike one and strike two. Also, the payoff doesn't match the effort. You make this long slow climb up a mountain with big long things on your feet and clunky boots that don't allow your toes to bend and then, what's the payoff, a quick run down a mountain? Ok, but now you've got to climb up the mountain again in these boots. Sorry, no thanks. Strike 3. Climbing is not my idea of fun in any way shape or form.
What keeps me intrigued by fishing is the mystery of it all. Paraphrasing Forrest Gump, fishing is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get, but just like a box of chocolates, 9 times out of 10 you usually get the crappy ones that you can't stand.
That's the lure of fishing, pardon the pun. You never know what you are going to get. There's this entire world underwater, bigger than the land mass on earth, and it's largely unknown by man. The underwater is a mystery and when you cast that line in, you're thinking, maybe I'll catch a trout, or a bass, or a mackerel, or maybe I'll catch a shark or a giant squid, or a treasure chest, or a pirates skeleton, or a man in cement shoes. You just don't know, so you keep trying. The truth is, if you catch anything, it's a sucker or a sea robin or some dumb ugly fish with spiky fins that you don't want to touch, let alone eat.
I think my whole attitude would change if I started catching fish on a regular basis like those guys on the weekend fishing shows. Like anything, when you're good at something, it's more fun, so I'll keep trying. I really want to like fishing, I just stink at it. That's my whole problem.
I sincerely hope that maybe someday, in my old age, I'll get good at it, because, like that Greek God whose name escapes me who kept pushing that rock up the hill for some reason, I will keep trying, I will keep fishing.
Because I love the idea of fishing.
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