I Like the Idea of Fishing

I absolutely love the idea of fishing. It's solitary, quiet, you're outside with nature, and you're matching wits with these aquatic animals--fish vs Beast, I mean, man vs beast. It's relaxing yet contemplative -- a thinking man's sport.
It's also the only sport that requires sitting and no movement for long periods of time. I'm surprised the Gods of sports actually voted fishing into the club. Movement should be a minimum requirement for a sport. I also like the idea of kicking back with a cold one and waiting for the fish to bite while the birds chirp, the breeze blows, and the sun shines.
Yes, I love the IDEA of fishing, but the thing is I don't really actually like fishing. Ya follow? Why don't I like fishing? Duh, you're outside, you're alone, it's cold and wet, and you're matching wits with a slimy, beady eyed creature. Oh yeah and it's relaxing and contemplative. But I don't want to relax when I'm playing, if I did, I'd be home watching TV or reading. And I don't want to think when I'm supposed to be recreating. Recreation means fun, thinking is a lot of things, but it's not usually fun. Plus, what is there to think about -- how fast will I lose my lure? How many times will I cast before I give up? It's a fool's game. The fish usually win, so why bother? And I don't actually like the sitting part. Sitting hurts your keyster and its boring. I like to move when I play--give me a turn around jump shot in the driveway or a chip shot with a 9-iron in the backyard any day.
You can see my confusion here. I'm conflicted when it comes to fishing. It's not like golf, which I love the idea of and I love playing. If I could come back as something, it would be as a golf pro. And it's not like skiing, which I hate the idea of and actually hate doing. I hate the idea of skiing because, for starters, it takes place in snow and cold weather. Strike one and strike two. Also, the payoff doesn't match the effort. You make this long slow climb up a mountain with big long things on your feet and clunky boots that don't allow your toes to bend and then, what's the payoff, a quick run down a mountain? Ok, but now you've got to climb up the mountain again in these boots. Sorry, no thanks. Strike 3. Climbing is not my idea of fun in any way shape or form.
What keeps me intrigued by fishing is the mystery of it all. Paraphrasing Forrest Gump, fishing is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get, but just like a box of chocolates, 9 times out of 10 you usually get the crappy ones that you can't stand.
That's the lure of fishing, pardon the pun. You never know what you are going to get. There's this entire world underwater, bigger than the land mass on earth, and it's largely unknown by man. The underwater is a mystery and when you cast that line in, you're thinking, maybe I'll catch a trout, or a bass, or a mackerel, or maybe I'll catch a shark or a giant squid, or a treasure chest, or a pirates skeleton, or a man in cement shoes. You just don't know, so you keep trying. The truth is, if you catch anything, it's a sucker or a sea robin or some dumb ugly fish with spiky fins that you don't want to touch, let alone eat.
I think my whole attitude would change if I started catching fish on a regular basis like those guys on the weekend fishing shows. Like anything, when you're good at something, it's more fun, so I'll keep trying. I really want to like fishing, I just stink at it. That's my whole problem.
I sincerely hope that maybe someday, in my old age, I'll get good at it, because, like that Greek God whose name escapes me who kept pushing that rock up the hill for some reason, I will keep trying, I will keep fishing.
Because I love the idea of fishing.