With a Little Help From My ‘Friends’

By Norm DePloom

A sampling of recent e-mail from some kind, helpful “friends”:

Beautiful Russian women waiting to meet YOU!

Me, really? How beautiful are we talking, here?

Show your lover that there can still be a lot of heat in your bedroom.

Indeed, the weather is getting warmer. Perhaps I should open a window.

Check account status.

Great idea! You need my social security number, right?

Nominate yourself for a Certificate.

Can’t get a promotion, but I’ll gladly accept your certificate, kind sir or madam.

No prescription needed

So now you tell me.

Make sure you look better by losing weight

Why, do I look fat in this golf shirt?

Beautiful watches for less.

Who wears a watch anymore?

You get freaked out when it comes to bed.

Yeah, it’s called insomnia, my friend.

Bank account blocked

I’ll get right on that. Bezunesh, you’re in Nigeria, right?