The Art of Wasting Time

I think everyone has got the whole wasting time thing down pretty well. We all do it, we all waste time when we are supposed to be working, but we don't admit it. I've been wasting time for hours this morning, for no real reason. Ok, it's Friday, that's a reason, but I have stuff I have a lot of stuff I have to finish, like now, so I need to get moving.
But we all waste time -- that's pretty much the point of work, see if you can get through the day wasting more time than working. Some days, it's not even close. Other days, I work like a banshee -- but this is not one of those days. It all evens out is the way I see it. I have days where I work 8 hours, I sometimes work weekends, I work at night or early in the morning sometimes -- these are the benefits of working from home. So on the days when I mail it in, I feel it's all evens out in the end. Bosses waste tremendous amounts of time too, don't let them kid you.
How do you waste time? The internet is the Holy Grail of time wasting. That's pretty much why it was created. If Al Gore only knew when he invented the Internet that it would completely revolutionize the way people waste time. It has come to be a pretty acceptable vehicle for time wasting, as long as its in small doses. And you have to disguise it. When I used to work in an office, I couldn't really waste time on ESPN.com, because that was too obvious. Why would you be on a sports site at work? But I would go to the Yahoo or Excite news page -- I could say I was looking up stocks or something when actually I was reading about sports. You see, if you're going to waste time, you have to work at it. It's an art and a science. It's not easy -- you have to make it look like you are working. We all have our "go to" time wasting tricks -- what are yours?
Remember before the Internet? Remember how hard to was to waste time? You did it, we all did it, but it took a lot more creativity. I used to read newspapers in my cubicle. Of course, you couldn't blatantly read a newspaper because that would be wasting time, so you folded it up into a little square and shoved it under your big desk calendar, with only the part you are reading sticking out from underneath the calendar. When someone walked by, you could easily cover it up. I would also drink a lot of coffee, not because I wanted to drink that much coffee, but because I wanted to go walk into the break room and take a break. I was pretty damn jittery by days end.
Now, it's all changed for me. I have the pleasure of working at home at this point in my career, and I am truly thankful for that. I believe I have earned it. It brings wasting time to a whole new level. You don't waste time to waste time, you use your time wisely to go to games, pick up kids, paint the living room, run errands, etc. Ok, you still waste time looking up things like, Geez, I wonder what that Kelly Leak kid has been doing since bad News Bears? Actually, he was in a movie a few years ago-- Little Children.
But really, the schedule working at home is more your own, because you can put time in before 9 or after 5 much easier. I have earned this after working in offices for many years. And I do actually get my work done -- I work hard, in fact.
Ok, it's 11 am, time to get to work.