In today’s fake news, a football player cursed out God after the game because he claims God made his team lose.
“(Bleep) &*^%!. God definitely had something to do with that game,” said Joe Squareout, the star receiver for the local football team. “That team sucks and there’s no reason they should have beaten us. God must have been involved in the outcome somehow.” He believes the All Powerful may have answered a prayer from the opposing team that led to the loss.
God could not be reached for comment.
The quarterback on the opposing team, Fred Faithful, a born again Christian, did in fact ask God to let his team win before the game. Whether or not his prayers figured into the final result remains to be seen.
League officials say they are investigating the matter. “We don’t know what happened, but we take all charges of tampering very seriously and will look into it,” said the league commissioner. If God was involved, it could have very serious ramifications. “We obviously can’t discipline God,” the fake commissioner said, “but we can pray to Him to ask Him not to answer game-related prayers.”
God expert Father Bill Goodfellow called the whole thing ridiculous. “God does not care who wins a football game. He’s a basketball fan.”
This is the first time that there have been charges of Supreme Being tampering in a sporting event since 842 BC when Hercules disguised himself as a horse and entered a Chariot race.
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these game related prayers have to stop.. it just ain't right. the man upstairs has to deal with more important things, like me winning lotto or giving it up at the one arm bandit...
ReplyDeleteGod must have a tough time when two Catholic schools play each other. Is it a coin toss, or a preordained win loss schedule or is it like the refs in basketball games when they make a questionable foul call and then come back with one for the opposing team just to even things out?
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